The Myth Of Hockeytown

I like taking stances that defy convention. It makes me feel rebellious.

One of the conventions that comes with living in the Detroit area is that you are a Red Wings fan. When the playoffs begin, you not only care but also have to be prepared to discuss the current situation with any given jackass off the street. "Hey. D'you catch last night's Wings' game?" is a siren song whose call cannot be refused. It's supposed to be ingrained into our genetics as residents of Southeastern Michigan. We have our Red Wings, our Coney Dogs, our Bob Seger, our Kid Rock and our White Stripes. These things are more or less sacrosanct.

Well fuck that. Give me Coney Dogs and Seger and keep the rest. I'm not going to waste my energy feigning interest in anything hockey-related from here forward. Any attempts to engage me in discussion about the NHL Playoffs will be met with a hearty "Fuck hockey!"

But my issue here isn't hockey on the whole. It's local Red Wings fans. Because there is a very noted difference between a hockey fan and a Red Wings fan. A hockey fan can be a Red Wings fan, but a Red Wings fan is almost never a hockey fan.

You see, for most of the 1990s, the Red Wings were the only Detroit sports franchise that had consistent success. The Tigers blew, the Pistons were in transition, and the Lions were just being themselves. Only in the Red Wings could the average Detroiter find a shining example of a winner. Only the Red Wings could provide the terrific sense of community that comes with following a local sports team through the playoffs. You see, Detroiters weren't interested in watching the Red Wings play hockey; they were interested in watching the Red Wings win. So in Detroit's efforts to rebuild it's image over the last decade, it attached itself to the most recognizable positive aspect about itself: it's winning hockey team.

That's fine. We are indeed fair weather fans. The only sport that manages to arouse passion in us whether the team is winning or losing is football.

And nicknaming Detroit "Footballtown" is such a sad idea that I'm simultaneously laughing and crying as I type this.

Look. I'm fine with people loving their Red Wings. I'm not saying they shouldn't. But don't pretend it's hockey that you love. Over the past year when the NHL was on strike, I had many discussions with many so-called "hockey fans" that were lamenting the absence of hockey from their lives. While I don't care for hockey, it's not from ignorance. I know a reasonable amount about the sport, and I consider my decision not to pretend to like it to be an informed one. So during these discussions, I attempted to engage in intelligent discourse about the problems of the game. Almost to a person, the discussions went like this:

"Hockey Fan": Man! Fuck those greedy owners! I can't believe they shut down the season.
Me: But most of the teams in the league are losing money. They aren't creating new fans in the markets that they over-aggressively expanded into.
"HF": No way man. Hockey rules!
Me: Well, you have to admit that clutching and grabbing and the trap defense have made the game kind of tough to watch over the past few years.
"HF": Yeah. But hockey rules!
Me: They're talking about rule changes to open up the game. What do you think about going to Olympic ice?
"HF": ...
Me: Or reducing the penalties for fighting so enforcers have a place in the game again. That Bertuzzi hit on Moore never would have happened with an enforcer on the ice.
"HF": ...
Me: That would mean more fighting. And higher scoring.
"HF": ...
Me: Or you could have shootouts instead of ties. Nobody likes a tie.
"HF": Hockey rules!

The average "Red Wings fan" couldn't even tell me why what he was watching was dull, only that he loved watching it. So long as "it" was the Red Wings winning. Occasionally I'd get an enlightened soul who said that the trap defense was indeed ruining the sport but rule changes would affect the purity of the game. Fine. I can respect that. But there weren't too many of those respectable purists out there.

My point is that Detroit isn't Hockeytown. It's Red Wings-town. And that's cool. But if/when the Wings start losing, all of these "die-hards" will suddenly forget all about it.

Want more proof? Ask yourself what you know about Detroit. I mean the actual city of Detroit. Ask yourself how many actual hockey or Red Wings fans actually live in the city limits. Does it sound right to call a city "Hockeytown" when most of the city's actual residents don't give a shit about the sport?

Finally, let me tell you the final question that I posed to the "Red Wings fans" that I spoke with over the last year, and you decide if this city/area really bleeds with the Red Wings enough to call Detroit "Hockeytown".

"Would you trade all 3 of our Stanley Cups over the past decade for a Lions' Super Bowl?"

The answer was nearly unanimous. And it didn't bode well for those that really believe in "Hockeytown". But it did make me believe in the most fair-weather fans in the country.